The framework
RBDSMA
A conversational framework that brings clarity, consent, vulnerability, transparency and agency to the people involved.
What are your existing relationships?
Is there anyone who would be upset, or who should know that we are connecting?
What are the boundaries for this interaction?
Set the boundaries while in a grounded place, before arousal.
What are your desires for this interaction?
What are you wanting to experience? What are you hoping to take away?
What is your sexual health?
Partner and testing history.
What is the meaning you are giving to this interaction?
Are we now dating? Is this casual? Is it that I feel safe to explore desire with this person?
What form of aftercare do you desire from me if we explore this together?
Do I want a phone call the next day to reflect and talk about anything coming up?
Are there any traumas I should know about and be sensitive of?
Once this framework is utilized, people can choose whether they want to move forward, can honor the commitments, and align with the context.