The Queen's Code Deep Dive #4: Healing the Narrative

In this week’s dive into The Queen’s Code by Alison Armstrong (reading from page 173 to 234), our community explored the profound impact of how we hold our stories, our intimacy, and our boundaries. The conversation centered around disidentifying from shame, honoring the sacred nature of sexual connection, and creating emotional safety through clear communication.

Healing Through Story

We reflected on how old wounds can quietly become part of our identity—and how healing begins when we bring those hidden stories into the light. Vulnerable shares revealed the courage it takes to release guilt and the surprising connection that emerges when truth is spoken.

“Some people get too great a psychological benefit from their wounds to will themselves to be healed. They have incorporated the injury into their identity and do not know who they are without it.” — The Queen’s Code, pg. 198

Redefining Intimacy

The dialogue around sexuality moved from performance and pressure toward presence and spiritual union. We explored how intimacy transforms when rooted in connection rather than validation, and how the shift from “boy mindset” to conscious manhood invites depth and joy into physical connection.

Women offered perspective on pacing, permission, and how deeply they open when safety is present. The metaphor of the lotus flower—slow, intentional, unfolding—captured this beautifully.

Boundaries as Love

The session closed with a powerful insight: Boundaries are an act of kindness. When we express them clearly, we create space for others to succeed in loving us. When we withhold them, others are left to stumble through the dark.

Reflective Questions

Choose one of the following questions to reflect on, and share your answer in the comments (make sure to include which question you’re answering):

In what ways have you unknowingly built identity around your past wounds—and what would healing free you to become?

How do you currently relate to giving and receiving intimacy, and what might shift if you treated it as sacred connection rather than performance or transaction?

What boundary have you avoided expressing, and how could naming it clearly create more love and freedom in your relationships?

Your voice matters. We’d love to hear what’s real for you.

Keep choosing Self & Keep going within.

Much Love, 
Mantras