Getting Real Deep Dive #4: The Power of Authentic Expression

Book Club Recap: Speaking Truth, Honoring Wants, and Embracing the Mess

Last night’s book club was a visceral reminder that authenticity is not about polished delivery—it’s about speaking what’s true, even when it’s messy. Guided by Getting Real by Susan Campbell (covering pages 138 to 167), we explored how our bodies signal our truth, how our complaints are actually buried wants, and how the expression of anger—when done with presence—can be a path to deeper connection rather than disconnection.

The Yes/No Exercise: Listening to the Body

We began with a partner exercise where we said “yes” when we meant “no” and “no” when we meant “yes.” It quickly became clear how the body responds to misalignment:

Tightness in the chest

Prickly solar plexus energy

Nervous laughter vs. belly laughter

Leg tension and frozen posture

The insight? Our bodies speak the truth long before our words do. One brother realized his recent “yes” to a big life change was actually a masked “no,” revealing the power of checking in with embodied truth.

Expansion is Messy: Embracing the Imperfection

When the background music got too loud, a brother spoke up. What followed wasn’t just an adjustment in volume—but an embodied metaphor. We realized that growth doesn’t arrive perfectly packaged.

“I always think expansion will feel perfect. But when I step into it—it’s messy.”

This moment reminded us that getting real isn’t always clean. It’s about being with the discomfort and choosing truth anyway.

Complaints as Unspoken Wants

Referencing page 118 of the book, we explored the idea that “a complaint is a want in disguise.”

Instead of: “You never listen to me”

Try: “I want to feel heard when I share what matters to me.”

When one man voiced frustration about the music, the shift from complaint to want created connection and collaborative solution. It reinforced that taking ownership of our desires opens the door for them to be met.

Masculine Anger and Authentic Expression

We dove into real conversations around anger—particularly how to express it in a way that doesn’t create fear but builds trust. The group shared ways they’ve learned to embody and move anger without weaponizing it:

Naming it: “I’m at a 10. I’m pissed. And you’re still safe.”

Physical release: Beating pillows, throwing objects at the floor

Intimacy through shadow: “When I showed my partner my anger, we both felt more turned on and connected.”

Women later shared that suppressed anger feels more dangerous than expressed anger—a reminder that presence and clarity build safety more than silence ever could.

Claiming Our Wants: The Birthday Circle

A spontaneous birthday celebration became a moment of manifestation. A brother stood in the center and claimed what he wanted:

“I want to be fully seen. I want to live financially free. I want to stop hiding parts of myself.”

As he voiced each desire, the group held it with sacred witness. We saw in real time how naming our wants aloud activates their energy and opens the path to possibility.

Women’s Reflections: Repair, Amends, and Support

When the women joined, they asked: What does real repair actually look like?

We explored:

Behavior over apology: “Don’t just say sorry—show me you mean it.”

Love languages: Repair might look like touch for one, time for another

Follow-ups matter: Repair isn’t always one-and-done

One woman’s reflection stuck:

“I don’t need you to fix it. I need to feel you’re present with me in the discomfort.”

Closing Circle: Community Wants & Integration

We ended with our signature prayer circle— Desires ranged from personal healing to global impact, from stopping self-judgment to bringing this work to youth. It was a powerful reminder: our wants are sacred, and speaking them into community amplifies their power.

Final Insights:

Our truth is first felt, not thought—listen to the body.

Complaints signal unexpressed desires—claim them.

Anger expressed responsibly builds intimacy.

Expansion is messy—and that’s part of the magic.

Speaking our wants aloud is the first step to manifesting them.

Reflective Questions:

What is one want you’ve been disguising as a complaint?

When was the last time you said “yes” when your body felt a “no”? What stopped you from honoring your truth?

What truth are you ready to speak—regardless of how it’s received?

Let us know which questions you choose to answer! Your share might just help someone else get real too.

Keep Going Within. 

Much Love, 
Mantras