Getting Real Deep Dive #2: From Control to Connection
Exploring Susan Campbell’s Truth-Telling Revolution in Getting Real (covering pages 66 to 121).
Last night’s book club wasn’t just a discussion—it was a practice ground for radical honesty. With Getting Real by Susan Campbell as our guide, we entered a deeper level of authenticity, moving beyond control tactics and into the raw, unscripted territory of truth-telling. From real-time partner exercises to cathartic anger release, the evening revealed just how much power we reclaim when we stop performing and start expressing what’s real—right now.
I Notice… The Power of Observing Without Controlling
Our session began with the deceptively simple “I Notice” exercise. Paired up, we took turns speaking only from observation, resisting the urge to explain, fix, or even respond.
Key Takeaways:
Most of us realized how deeply ingrained our need to be “liked” or “understood” really is.
We saw how even subtle nods or affirmations can be forms of control—ways to manage how we’re perceived.
We practiced being present instead of pleasing.
As Campbell teaches, true relating means revealing what’s happening in the now, not curating it for comfort or approval.
From Manipulation to Honesty: The Punctuality Breakthrough
One member shared how he shifted from passive-aggressively adjusting pickup times to being honest about his experience:
“I noticed you had me waiting 10 minutes last time, and now I’m imagining you don’t value my time.”
The result? A heartfelt conversation, deeper respect, and punctuality restored. A perfect example of the book’s lesson: honesty—when delivered without blame—invites connection.
Unfinished Business: Anger as a Gateway to Freedom
In one of the most powerful segments, we did a cathartic “unfinished business” exercise. One man voiced years of unspoken rage toward a friend who abandoned him, saying:
“I resent you for leaving me for dead.”
“I hated myself even more because you didn’t check on me.”
What we witnessed:
Suppressed emotions don’t vanish—they linger in the body until released.
Anger, when expressed in a safe container, doesn’t destroy—it heals.
Truth-telling creates animation, presence, and power.
Women Join: Reframing Masculine Anger
When the women joined the circle, they reflected powerfully on their relationship to masculine anger:
Safety: Suppressed anger feels more dangerous than expressed anger.
Trust: Authentic, grounded emotional expression can build connection.
Triggers: Every woman’s history informs how she receives male emotion—and communication is key.
The consensus? With awareness, presence, and mutual respect, masculine anger can be a bridge instead of a barrier.
Closing Reflections: Living the Work
Universal Insights:
Authenticity often looks like awkward honesty before it becomes fluid expression.
Emotions stored become reactions. Emotions expressed become release.
Our work is to notice sooner, express cleaner, and repair quicker.
As we closed, we asked ourselves: Where are we still controlling to be safe? And where are we finally ready to get real?
Reflective Questions:
Where in your life are you still managing perception instead of revealing truth?
What anger or resentment are you still carrying that’s ready to be expressed safely?
What would change in your relationships if you replaced manipulation with vulnerability?
✨ Choose one question to answer in the comments—and tell us which one you’re choosing. You never know who your truth might inspire.
Keep going within.
Keep choosing real over rehearsed.
You’re not alone on this path.
Much Love,
Mantras